Sure, the last three seasons have us all shellshocked. But there is a plan to return to our winning ways … and an offseason for fans to recuperate. Here are 10 things to help us cope.

by Pat Dooley (BSJ ’76)

There are ways to get through difficult times: medication, therapy, deep breaths, healthy outlets, focusing on the positive.

Dr. Football suggests them all for college football fans whose seasons ended in November. When you have a Delusional Doctorate in Football Strategy (I have one to go with my No. 1 Dad T-shirt), you know how to get through a rough time.

Ooooh, your football team lost seven games? Did YOU play? I didn’t see you because I stayed in a halfway house this fall with no cable. The horror.

I’m kidding. We all know how seriously the Gator Nation takes football. It’s the king of college and front porch to the university.

Unfortunately, the Gators have had three straight losing seasons, so the front porch needs a concentrated heavily fragranced power-washing. Stand back, we’re turning this thing to 11. I’m here, my children, to help you get through 6-and-7, which begat two sons: 6-and-7 junior and 5-and-7.

We could have PTSD from the shellshock of 21 football losses in three seasons. You can’t put feathers on a pig and call him a chicken, but here are 10 things we can count on to get us through the offseason:

1. The Olympics
All eyes will be on Paris for the XXXIII Olympics this summer. The best part is so many Gators will be a part of it. (You’ll be hearing that humble brag about how if UF was its own country it would be seventh in the Olympics medal count.)

I cannot wait to watch The Flamingo (aka Grant Holloway) and all the other Gators competing for the USA and other countries. That’ll ease us into next football season.

2. A Rival-Free CFP
If you want to consider Michigan, Texas and Alabama rivals, go ahead. I don’t think of them as anything more than fringe rivalries — especially since Florida and Texas haven’t played since 1940.

I’ve said it aloud so many times maybe I wished it away, but I thought for sure we were going to have to endure another throw-up-in-your-mouth FSU-Georgia game. I’d like to say I bribed the College Football Playoff selection committee to vote them out, but I don’t have that kind of money.

3. We’re Still The Best
It really is the greatest athletic accomplishment in UF sports history. Only once in college sports has the two most important trophies — football and basketball — belonged to one school at the same time. That was 2006-07 when the Gators won three titles (two in hoops, one in football).

Four schools could accomplish that amazing feat in 2024 when the CFP Finals and March Madness take place. Among the four football qualifiers, just one has a national basketball championship: Michigan in 1989.

I like our chances to remain the only school with dual titles in the same year. At my house, we drink champagne when the last team is eliminated.

4. Everything Everywhere All at Once
You know the saying, “We’re an everything school.” Once we get our fall/winter sports going again, we truly will be. This is the most wonderful time of the year with gymnastics and prancing and baseball and sliding and softball and sunflowers.

Let’s be of good cheer. There’s nothing like springtime in Gainesville.

5. Next Year’s Schedule isn’t so Bad
Let’s get back to football. Everybody is talking about how rough it’ll be for Billy Napier in Year 3 because our schedule is so hard.

Quit whining. It’s no worse than anybody else’s. Everyone has a tough schedule now in the SEC.

Look at it this way, the Gators have seven home games and four true road games. How is that a tough schedule? Don’t tell me you’re afraid of Miami or UCF. Two opponents, Texas A&M and Mississippi State, have new coaches. Seven of our 12 opponents have new quarterbacks.

It’s a manageable schedule.

6. Myles Graham
His dad, Earnest, introduced us at the Gainesville Quarterback Club. If this is the quality Napier is bringing to the program, we’re going to be fine.

7. SEC Media Days
I trust that the great folks at the SEC will handle the logistics of two more teams coming into the conference, but there will still a lot of people banging into each other at the Dallas Omni in July.

8. A Break from Football Saturdays
Seriously, was there a point this season when you realized there were better things to worry about than whether the Gators might go to the Gasparilla Bowl? Watching the 2023 squad play defense was giving me ulcers.

9. We’ve Seen this Picture
Stud quarterback DJ Lagway is walking through the door. Graham Mertz is coming back. Remember in 2006 when we had a veteran quarterback who started every game and a freshman wunderkind who did the dirty work and became a legend?

Next season’s quarterback situation could be reminiscent of Chris Leak/Tim Tebow.

Hey, we can dream all summer, right?

10. We have the Blueprint
We just need to do well enough in talent acquisition to make it work.

Napier has had two years learning how to play SEC ball and players have learned what it takes to win. The Gators were a handful of plays away from 9-3.

We have a plan. We know it can work.

Now, enjoy the offseason.

Sportswriter Pat Dooley (BSJ ’76) covered the Gators for The Gainesville Sun for 33 years until his retirement in 2020. He still shares his love for Gator sports through his podcast, “Another Dooley Noted,” and WRUF radio program, “Dooley’s Back 9.” His Gator Nation News column does not necessarily reflect the views of the University of Florida.